Simon's Birth Story

This Thursday it will have been twelve weeks since my little baby has come into this world, and what an interesting experience it has been. Although not all of my experiences were pleasant, I don't regret any of them; nor would I change anything. This is a very detailed account of Simon's journey into the world. My apologies if it is lengthy or poorly written. I want to make sure to document it all as I do not want to forget a single detail of how my little angel finally arrived.

On Tuesday, June 30th, I woke up at 1:45 am with very strong low pelvic pains similar to menstrual cramps but much stronger. I had a hard time sleeping that evening and spent most of the rest of that day at work uncomfortable but functioning thanks to Tylenol. I had a hard time eating as the pain made me nauseated.

I went to bed early that night and woke up at 1:45 am again on Wednesday, July 1st, with strong extreme pain again in the same place. I decided at this point that I was not going to be getting sleep anytime soon and to just go downstairs and watch a movie until I became to drowsy to notice the pain. After 30 minutes or so I noticed that the pain had subsided, but then it came back again. I wondered if it could be contractions. Although I was unsure as I had always been told that contractions went across the belly like a steel band pulling. This pain was across my pelvic bones. But I decided to wake Matt up anyway to sit with me (misery does love company). I told him about the pain that I was experiencing, and I started Googling what early contractions feel like. Matt tried to convince me that I was not in labor as the pain wasn't in the right spot. I did find out that early labor can feel like what I was experiencing (apparently the steel band feeling isn't until later in the game). We started timing them using the timer application on Matt's iPhone and found out that they were roughly around 4 minutes apart.

At this point (4 am) I called Mom and let her know what was going on (she had had her bag packed and in the car ready for almost a week). Mom was very calm and orderly and immediately made me feel less scared. She told me to call the doctor (I tested positive for the strep B and needed to have two rounds of antibiotic before I could deliver) then call her back and let her know what he said while she was getting ready. The doctor told me that he wanted me to labor for at least five hours at home before going to the hospital, but if my water broke I was to go in immediately. I let mom know this, and she was leaving their house at that time. We then called Matt's parents. Mary answered the phone and started crying out of happiness when Matt told her that I was in labor. They had most of their things together as well but couldn't leave until the kennel opened up at 8 a.m. to drop Enya, their dog, off. Matt and I got the last of our things together and continued to time my contractions while we waited on Mom. I tried to eat some dry cereal as I knew it would be a long time before I would be able to eat again. I tried to get Matt to eat also, but he said he was too nervous and his stomach was upset.

Mom came around 7:30 am, shortly after the sun came up. We immediately loaded everything into her car, and Matt drove us to the hospital. I was able to walk in as my contractions were far enough apart and not too painful. Matt took off walking at top speed. I, obviously, couldn't go that fast. He was twenty yards or so ahead of me before he realized that he had left me lagging behind. We went up the elevator to the maternity ward and immediately checked in. Since I had preregistered, this process was very quick. The nurse took us to a room and had me change into a gown. She then told me about all the monitors she was putting on me. There was a contraction sensor to tell us the length and intensity of the contractions and also a fetal heart monitor. Both of these were strapped to the outside of my stomach. The contractions started to ease up some when we were entering the hospital, and I was scared that they were going to tell me it was false labor and send me back home. The nurse checked me, and my cervix was 1 and 1/2 centimeters dilated (before at my weekly prenatal visits, I had been closed up tight). She then started in on a lengthy questionnaire regarding my health and the health of my immediate family. The nurse called the doctor to see if she should start my antibiotics or have me walk around to dilate me more. He had the nurse start up my antibiotics. Mom went downstairs in search of breakfast for her Matt while Matt and I settled in and tried to watch some television to ease our anxiety and also started to fill out paperwork for the birth certificate and social security card.

The doctor came in and checked my cervix around 10 am, and I was dilated to 3 cm. At that time he pulled out this long plastic thing that looked like a crochet needle and broke my water. It did not hurt at all. I couldn't believe all the fluid that came out of me! I kept soaking through the large pads underneath me. The amniotic fluid was greenish. The doctor said that was because the baby had expelled meconium (basically, he had pooped inside me). It just meant that his digestive tract was mature, and he was ready for life on the outside. The doctor warned me that without the amniotic sac in place, the baby was going to be pushing harder on my cervix causing the contractions to be much more intense. Boy was he right. Within twenty minutes I was ready to crawl up the wall they hurt so bad. I couldn't sit still.

We called the nurse around 10:45 am to see if I could get my epidural yet (I had always been very certain that I wanted an epidural). She came in with the doctor, and I had dilated to 4cm and was given the green light for the medication. Shortly thereafter (although it felt like an eternity at the time) the anesthesiologist (Dr. Fish) came with his huge cart of drugs. They had me sit on edge of the bed. The nurse stood in front of me and helped hold me still while the doctor stood behind me of the other side of the bed and gave me a quick numbing shot before inserting the tiny tube into my back. Interestingly, I have a tattoo of a daisy on my back, and it is lined up in such a way that the exact spot that the doctor needed for the epidural was right in the center of the daisy. My mom decided she needed a picture of that. At the time I didn't care too much and just wanted those drugs to start flowing.

Within ten minutes I felt worlds better and was actually able to rest some. My in-laws arrived around noon and were very excited that Simon had not showed himself yet. We put on movies and settled in for the wait until my body and Simon decided they were ready for delivery. We watched several movies. Although the only one I remember is Paul Blart: Mall Cop. My dad was able to drive up for some of the labor. He had just gotten off the night shift and slept a few hours before making the two hour drive to Bloomington for us. He stayed until around 5 p.m. and then had to head back home to work again that night. During this part of my labor I was dozing in and out of sleep, waking when the nurses would come in to check my vitals and when family would come in or go out.

At 9 p.m. my labor started to stall out, so a Pitocin drip was started to regain consistent contractions and continue to dilate further. By this point I was miserable and ready to be done. My labor had progressed so quickly earlier that the nurses had predicted I would deliver around 7 p.m. The nurses continued to increase the dosage of Pitocin, and around 10 p.m. I had finally had it. I broke down crying from exhaustion and frustration. I had been up for almost 24 hours with the muscles in my lower body working harder than they ever had during the whole time. I begged for a caesarian section. The nurse decided that I was close enough to 10 centimeters dilated to start pushing.

I pushed, and pushed, and pushed. The nurse put an oxygen mask on me in order to keep Simon's levels high during the stress and strain that plagued us both while I pushed. Matt stayed near my head and blotted my forehead with a wet washcloth to keep me cool. Mary was on my left side helping to brace that leg, and my mom was my right doing the same with the nurse counting and watching my progress. I only pushed during contractions, and I was so tired at this point that I was falling alseep between them. Simon was crowning but kept getting caught under my pelvic bone. The pediatric nurses came in and set up Simon's incubator and equipment. This gave me hope that soon my labor would be over with and my baby would be with me.

Finally at around 12:30 a.m. Dr. Stowell was called in to complete the delivery. He helped me push a few times and then decided that a vacuum extractor and episiotomy would be necessary to get Simon out in a timely manner. Since I had been pushing close to three hours and was exhausted beyond anything I had ever experienced before, I would have agreed to anything. Unfortunately at that time the contractions stalled out and the Pitocin had to be increased again. Finally the next contraction came, and within minutes Simon was out! He was born at 1:07 a.m on Thursday, July 2. The doctor immediately laid him on the "landing pad" (i.e. absorbent pad) on my stomach. His umbilical cord was clamped, and Matt did the honors of cutting it. I was so tired and overwhelmed at it all that I did not immediately cuddle or hold Simon. I remember looking at him and wondering who this little person was that had been inhabiting my insides for so long.

He was immediately whisked away so that his nose and throat could be cleared of the meconium before it made its way into his lungs. He had problems breathing and was wheezing/moaning at first. He was cleaned and swaddled tightly so that he would stay warm. Simon weighed 8 lbs and 4 oz, and he was 21 and 1/2 inches long. He was given to me to hold and to use my oxygen mask while the nurses cleaned up and Dr. Stowell sewed up my poor shredded vagina. Simon continued to moan, so the nurses wanted to put him in a higher oxygen isolette in the nursery. Matt went with him. It took close to a half hour to completely sew me up. Afterwards, the nurses shut off the epidural, removed it from my back, and allowed me to sit up again. I was brought a dinner that had not been eaten from earlier in the evening. It consisted of salisbury steak, green beans, mashed potatoes, and orange juice. It had been over 24 hours since I had eaten last (excluding the half cup of dry cereal I ate before leaving for the hospital), so the food tasted amazing. After the delivery, I could not stop shivering. I think it was partly due to me cooling off after the long workout and also nerves as I was scared to death and very anxious. By the time I had finished eating, Simon's breathing issue had remedied itself, and he was brought back in to me. I was told that the nurses said he was hungry and wanted to eat. We adjusted ourselves as I awkwardly breastfed him. He took right to it and soon fell fast asleep. Apparently July 2nd was a popular day as there were around six or eight others born right at the same time. It took another hour or so to get us moved to the postpartum room as most of the nurses were busy assisting other deliveries. We made it and were settled in and all slept soundly for a few hours before spending the rest of our time getting acquainted.

It is still very strange to me to think of how everything about him (minus one half of his genetic blueprint) was formed by me and how we were connected together for nine months as one unit. At a prenatal visit towards the end of my pregnancy, the doctor was listening to Simon's heartbeat, and she pointed out a much slower, quieter background noise. It was my own heartbeat. The realization that two hearts were contained inside me was overwhelming. The two beats sounded like music together. Elizabeth Stone said, "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body". I admit that I was not one of those mothers that immediately fell in love with her child as soon as it was born. My love for Simon took time. Each day I love him more. The dynamic of our relationship is not a static but the unconditional love is. No matter how big he gets or how far away from me he is, he will always be my little boy, and I will love him forever.

The End of My Pregnanncy

Sorry it has been awhile since I last posted. Not much has happened in my life, and at this point, that is probably a good thing. We have had an excessive amount of company come this spring. Starting from the end of May, we either were committed to go visit someone or someone came here to stay with us every weekend. And I don't mean that they came for the evening or even the day. We had people come on Friday and leave on Sunday or Monday, meaning the whole weekend for resting was shot. Making sure that the house is clean before people arrive; they aren't bored; have enough things to eat that they like; enough toiletries, towels, and toilet paper; and are entertained takes more energy than it sounds. This has been our first weekend without any commitments (besides Matt's band performance) in a long while. Not that I don't love my family and love when they come; I do. It is just at 8-9 months pregnant I don't much feel like doing anything besides lying on the sofa. Too many activities gets very tiring, and I'm pleased to say that we have no overnight visitors expected until after the baby gets here. :)

I'm getting down to the wire on my pregnancy. I'm due next Saturday (six more days) and showing no signs of him coming early. I had planned to work the entire time up to when I went into labor, but now I think I'm going to stop at my due date. My last day will be this Friday. If he doesn't come for another week after my date, then I'm going to be bored out of my mind at the Library trying to find some form of mental stimulation as we don't have any sort of television viewing options outside of Netflix. I've been reading that if you go past your due date, it is best to stop working, as the further along you get, the more exhausting daily activities can be, and the harder labor and delivery can be on your body. This is especially if your baby is overly large like mine (they're guessing he'll be born between 8 and 1/2 lbs and 9 and 1/2 lbs). But I'm worried that I will feel guilty. I'm having a hard enough time convincing myself that it is okay to be off of work for eight weeks taking care of a baby and recuperating when I feel like I should be contributing to the household instead, and I'm also worried about leaving my coworker high and dry. A whole week, possibly a week and a half, with no baby would make me feel like such a slacker. But I've decided that I should do it for my mental health and for the physical strength I'm going to need to get this guy out. I can't believe how big he has gotten! I'd post pictures of my belly, but I can't seem to find the camera cord. I'll have to harass Matt about it when he gets up. Look for them on Facebook later. :)

Test Results

I called into the doctor on Thursday and found out that I passed my gestational diabetes test, yay!!!! Now I can go back to eating what I want. However the test did scare me some, so I'm going to pay a little bit more attention to what I'm putting into my body for both of our sakes. Since I'm down to 1o weeks I've also started thinking more about life once baby arrives and how I'm going to get back into shape (and into my old clothes). Anyone interested in training for a 5k with me?

Failed My Test

I had my 28 week check up on Tuesday. At this visit they did my glucose screening for gestational diabetes. If you haven't taken this test before, you have to fast for two hours before the test, go into the office, drink some really sweet concoction that they call glucola, wait an hour, and then have your blood drawn for testing. Well, I got a call at work this morning letting me know that I failed my test, and that I have to come back on Monday to take the three hour version. So, I can't eat anything after midnight on Sun, and I have to be in at the doctor's office at 8:15 on Monday morning. They are going to draw my blood three different times throughout the three hours, and I am to drink the glucola sometime during that period as well. But the crappy part is that I won't get to eat anything until around 11:30 or so. I honestly have no idea where this is coming from. No one in my family has diabetes. I was of a healthy, average weight before pregnancy, and I've had glucose screenings in the past (one less than a year ago) for insurance and wellness testing. My test results always have been perfectly normal. So I've decided this is it. No more kids. Being pregnant is too hard on my internal organs. They all seem to be freaking out from the trauma, and I'm going to be super-pissed at this kid (not that I'm not already from the disgusting morning sickness fiasco) if I can't have my desserts for the next 11 weeks. :(

24 Week Ultrasound

We went back to the doctor yesterday for our 24 week check up and another ultrasound to check on the choroid plexus cyst and see his little face (last time he was sleeping and wouldn't cooperate much). This ultrasound was better than the last time as we were able to see him move much more, and now that he is bigger, I could feel him move as I was seeing on the screen. It certainly made things seem more real. We were also given excellent news; the cyst is gone as are our chances of Downs or Edwards Syndrome!! We were given a perfect bill of health. Now time for the stats. The little guy weighs in at 1lb 10oz. and is aged at 24 weeks and 6 days (His actual age was 24 weeks and 2 days as of yesterday). So he is a little above average in the growth department, but look at how big and tall his daddy is. :) Matt is worried that he will get too big for me to deliver. However the doctor assured us that they monitor that carefully and would not let that happen. The next visit is the dreaded glucose test. I have to fast for 2 hours, drink a high-glucose beverage that is supposed to have around 75 grams of sugar in it, wait an hour, and then have some blood drawn to test for gestational diabetes. I told the doctor that they should switch out the glucose drink for chocolate cake or candy. Every pregnant lady in the county would switch over to their practice, and then they could really cash in. :)

Well, I did it.

I unregistered from my class and my MBA program. Matt and I have been worrying about the loan repayment. I guess they typically start in 6 months after stopping schooling which, for us, would be about the time that daycare expenses would be starting up, not a good combo. I got online tonight to view my loan info, and the first payment isn't expected until 7/2010 (hopefully it stays this way), about the actual time I plan on finishing up school after going back next year, assuming the baby gets into a regular sleep schedule around 6 months. Fortunately, that gives us over a year to start full repayment. Until then interest is accruing on $12,000 of it but not the other $8.5k. And we were given a portion of the funds back that the school didn't use. Instead of putting it back toward the loan we invested it in a high interest money market account. This should also help us bring down the balance.
I have been stressing about this so much lately and feel like a huge failure. I talked to my mom about it last night, and she reminded me that no matter what I accomplish in life raising a happy and healthy child is the most important job one can undertake and is also the greatest reward. I have been trying to keep that in mind. My dad said, "To hell with the school, do what you need". Matt keeps reminding me that in the grand scheme of things one year is a drop in the bucket. It has been great to get everyone's support throughout this. Even the chiropractor could tell my stress had been building. He asked me what was getting to me so much as my muscles in my neck and back were tighter than he had ever seen on me. I guess all the more reason why I need this break. :/

I need some advice...

I'm having a very difficult time with my schooling right now. I'm four classes till the completion of my master's degree. It has been a long, hard road with little free-time and very little time for my friends and family (I think that has been the hardest part). My problem is that my classes are getting harder as I go. The one I'm in right now is requiring around 20-25 hours of time per week, and when I work 40+ hours on top of that, it leaves little time for taking care of myself or my growing baby or resting. The past few nights I have only been able to get hours of sleep. I literally spent 10 hours on a homework assignment for last week to only receive 50% on it. I have been in tears over the workload for the past three evenings. And I'm also getting so stressed out about it that I'm feeling sick to my stomach and faint. My question is: Do you think that I should "tough it out", so to speak, and continue on, as I only have four more classes left and we have five figures already invested in this degree, or do you think I should withdraw and potentially pick it up again at a later time? Please help me; I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do!